today i'm thankful to be pregnant. thankful for a healthy pregnancy so far. mark and i are fortunate in this department. we didn't have a struggle to become parents. we tried, but not for nearly as long as many couples do. if you've tried to conceive you know it's not as easy as they make it look on 16 and pregnant. those girls aren't doing any tracking, they don't pee on sticks, they aren't taking vitamins. it can be stressful. but, it's exciting. i have friends that have/are struggling to become pregnant. i have a group of women who we share our stories, worries, and problems. many spend years trying to get pregnant. some get pregnant the first try and others never do. they explore other options. i hear these women and think they would be better mothers than myself. so why do they have such a hard time when they are doing everything right? but, then i hear that same woman who tried for 2 years, took drugs, had multiple miscarriages and in the end they have a healthy baby. and i know when that child in your arms, you forget the journey it took you to get their. you forget the stress, the tears, the fight. even for those who adopt or someone else carries their baby, your heart does not know the difference. it only knows love because that is your child. as i listen to friends i just wanted to share that everyone struggles in their own way. some more than others. but everyone has their own journey and in the end it's worth it.

i have been writing notes to this little baby boy since we found out we were pregnant. it's fun for me because as the weeks progress, you quickly forget what it felt like when you found out. kind of like you forget what it was like to try and conceive. so here is one of my notes. i don't usually share but clearly i'm in a sharing mood today. each note ends with a verse that i find specific to what i am feeling at that time. :)

conceived: 4 weeks

it’s official! we are going to be parents again. i’ve never been more excited to see 2 pink lines. i couldn’t stop smiling today and was jumping up and down. i told avery she was going to be a big sister but she doesn’t understand yet. but, don’t worry, she will someday! i already imagine you both playing together and fighting. your dad already came up with a name. it’s a boy name so only time will tell. i have a feeling you’re a boy too. regardless of your sex you will probably wear pink because your sister is a girly girl. i pray you are healthy and grow stronger by the day. although your heart won’t beat for another 2 weeks mine is beating for the both of us.

your dad and i have prayed for you, asked our friends and family to pray for you. our prayers were answered.

“For this child I have prayed” 1 Samuel 1:27

preschool update: the suspense was killing you, right? well, we got in! one day a week on fridays! not so helpful since mark's new job now has every friday off and it was our last choice but it will be good for her! half the price, half the germs, we'll take it! but, we're still on the waiting list for the tues thurs slot. not to mention mark and i can probably go out and do stuff with just the baby since he'll be a lot easier to do things with 1 instead of 2! :)