milestone - rolling.

i'm trying to find the right words to describe what i am feeling. yesterday my baby boy rolled from his back to his front! such a blessing to watch him reach these milestones. but, with each one i realize i am moving farther away from the baby stage. these babies are the reason i drag myself out of bed each day. these babies are the only ones who know exactly what my heart sounds like from the inside and find the sound comforting to lay on top of me. these babies made me a mother. these babies have grown before my own eyes. but, what they don't realize is how much i have grown with them. i've had feelings i didn't know existed. some good and some bad. 

with every milestone they reach i am right there to. when will rolled over today i felt so much excitement. i dropped what i was doing and was there cheering him on. then of course i went to grab my phone to capture it on video. :) it wasn't until i was putting him down for a nap, rocking him, that i had the harsh realization that he's just going to keep getting bigger. i will always be there cheering you three on in everything you do. i can't promise i won't be a little sad about you growing up.

i've never felt "ready" to have a baby. each child you find yourself in a different place if that makes sense. i remember avery rolling for the first time. i was so excited and couldn't wait for the next milestone for her to conquer. i encouraged her to do things earlier than normal. i just wanted to experience it all so fast. with blake, the milestones came on his own. i didn't push him and he did things in his own time. i was proud when he accomplished them and was still excited but it was different. with will, i am still thankful but i just want to stop time. these moments are fleeting and he will never roll over for the first time again. that moment was amazing and i'll always remember it. 

three kids is not easy. it is exhausting. trying. emotionally and physically exhausting sometimes. but, knowing that we have so many more firsts is the best part. watching each of them achieve milestones and goals that are new is so incredibly awesome to watch. to watching avery score her first soccer goal, to blake's first time to walk, to will's first time to laugh. everyone is so special and i have to thank my husband ten times over for allowing me to be home with them and witness these firsts. especially, with my last sweet baby will. and if he even tries to crawl or walk when i'm not around someone better push him over because that is NOT happening without me? unless someone wants to witness a mental breakdown! mmmm k honey?

*i can't get over how much will  + blake look alike. who knew?

and just like that he rolls.
*to clarify those pictures are avery, blake, + will moments after birth. :)