lately.

it's been in the 70's. then it "snowed". then the 70's. then it "snowed" again. after a week of being out of school here's to hoping we all return back to our regular scheduled lives tomorrow! :)

if you know mark you know he falls asleep faster than anyone i know! i couldn't resist. 

the mothering instincts that avery has are beyond anything i can comprehend. the way she loves him and cares for him is priceless. for all of those conversations, tears, discussions, and prayers about adding to our family. these moments are worth every single one! the lessons she is learning as a big sister are more valuable than anything i will ever teach her. she is amazing at only four years old. i can't imagine what she will go on to do as she grows. getting to watch and guide her is a gift. 

we went and saw frozen a couple of weeks ago. we've now been singing the songs ever since. everyday. every night.

this little guy amazes me. his vocabulary and speech have just exploded. i love listening to him talk and tell me about his day at school. i also really love hearing him say "i be riiiiiiiight back".



and will. i mean. he continues to melt my heart everyday and he makes me want to grab onto this baby stage and never let go. the smell of his hair after a bath. the smell of his breath when he sleeps with his mouth open. his dimply thighs. his chubby cheeks. his gummy smile. i'm tearing up just writing these things. if i am ever stressed all i need is to rock this sweet boy and suddenly i am overcome with calmness and thankfulness. that to do list that runs through my head on repeat suddenly disappears.


i am in a place of extreme thankfulness right now. i hope this never leaves me. these little ones amaze me everyday and help me look at life in a new light. every.single.day. they also make me question how on earth i will survive the day and make it to bedtime sometimes. these little people that have me wanting to scream and run away also have me in tears the next minute and never wanting to let them go. but, not a day goes by when i don't stop and just stare in amazement at these miracles. i love them so much it hurts. i hope they know that.

milestone - rolling.

i'm trying to find the right words to describe what i am feeling. yesterday my baby boy rolled from his back to his front! such a blessing to watch him reach these milestones. but, with each one i realize i am moving farther away from the baby stage. these babies are the reason i drag myself out of bed each day. these babies are the only ones who know exactly what my heart sounds like from the inside and find the sound comforting to lay on top of me. these babies made me a mother. these babies have grown before my own eyes. but, what they don't realize is how much i have grown with them. i've had feelings i didn't know existed. some good and some bad. 

with every milestone they reach i am right there to. when will rolled over today i felt so much excitement. i dropped what i was doing and was there cheering him on. then of course i went to grab my phone to capture it on video. :) it wasn't until i was putting him down for a nap, rocking him, that i had the harsh realization that he's just going to keep getting bigger. i will always be there cheering you three on in everything you do. i can't promise i won't be a little sad about you growing up.

i've never felt "ready" to have a baby. each child you find yourself in a different place if that makes sense. i remember avery rolling for the first time. i was so excited and couldn't wait for the next milestone for her to conquer. i encouraged her to do things earlier than normal. i just wanted to experience it all so fast. with blake, the milestones came on his own. i didn't push him and he did things in his own time. i was proud when he accomplished them and was still excited but it was different. with will, i am still thankful but i just want to stop time. these moments are fleeting and he will never roll over for the first time again. that moment was amazing and i'll always remember it. 

three kids is not easy. it is exhausting. trying. emotionally and physically exhausting sometimes. but, knowing that we have so many more firsts is the best part. watching each of them achieve milestones and goals that are new is so incredibly awesome to watch. to watching avery score her first soccer goal, to blake's first time to walk, to will's first time to laugh. everyone is so special and i have to thank my husband ten times over for allowing me to be home with them and witness these firsts. especially, with my last sweet baby will. and if he even tries to crawl or walk when i'm not around someone better push him over because that is NOT happening without me? unless someone wants to witness a mental breakdown! mmmm k honey?

*i can't get over how much will  + blake look alike. who knew?

and just like that he rolls.
*to clarify those pictures are avery, blake, + will moments after birth. :)

five months.

oh my sweet, sweet will. you are the best baby. you are another month older. the time seems to just fly by and go faster every month. i wish you could stay this little forever. i recently read an article about birth order and how it affects personality development. let me apologize to your future wife because you will be babied and spoiled. it's a fact! and while i'm sorry, i won't feel that bad about it! you love to be rocked and held still. and i still love it! your baby breath is the best too. i just want to take it all in. your gummy smile melts me, every single day. 

toes. on those toes. you love to play with them. 

you will learn this some day, but you have me wrapped around your finger. your finger with the cutest dimple. i've never loved someones chub so much! your rolls are the best!




your sister loves you more than words. she is so proud to be your big sister. (your big brother loves you too but he was taking a nap when we took these today)
we were at the park yesterday and her friend was holding his baby sister. instead of playing she wanted to pick you up and hold you. showing you off like her prize. for a four year old that's a pretty big deal. i call you my nugget. she started calling you a chicken nugget, because in her world that's what a nugget is.

avery has really started to show an interest in taking pictures lately. this was her second time to use my big camera.

it makes me love these even more. she captured what we do perfectly. kissing and trying to make you laugh. those are pretty much my goals for the day.
 everyday.

william i love you so much and i love everything about you! if i'm being honest i'm pretty sad that you are getting bigger. but, it's hard to be too sad when you just keep getting sweeter and cuter!

my boys.

so i've dropped the ball already and haven't taken a picture everyday. but, something is better than nothing!

will - your eyes are staying strong and grey. but when the light hits your eyes just right there is a tint of green. could i end up with a kid with 3 different eye colors? the real reason i can't take a photo a day is because i can't just take one picture. it's like a bag a chips. who really just eats one? i can't stop snapping away because i get lost in you. i get lost in those eyes and i just want to capture all the emotions you express through them. 

that cradle cap. which is basically like baby dandruff but such a baby quality and i'll hold on to every last one! 

those rolls. i mean THOSE ROLLS! i couldn't love them anymore! i mean, they melt me!

that face! you slay me with your sweetness! i could stare at you all day long!

you see that vein across your nose? you and you sister both have it in the same spot!

your belly. it's so squishy!

i pretty much adore all babies when they grab onto their feet! something about it is so cute.

the way you love to look at fans. it's like crack for babies! you just can't look away!

blake - you are coming out of your shell. my once shy little guy is blossoming and trying new things. he was once terrified of a pile of leaves believe it or not!